This was my birthday post for 2012:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SON!It has been 42 years today since this wonderful person graced my life. We have not always seen eye to eye, but we have always seen heart to heart no matter the distance. When you were born I told God you belonged to Him & I would serve only as the encourager. I did add if it was OK with God my choice for your profession would not be a lawyer or a preacher because those professions hold way too many temptations. And so I watched you grow in wisdom & in spirit. There were many proud moments watching sports including football & my favorite, wrestling where you were team captain. You chose electrical engineering as your life’s work & even when I was pressured to convince you to accept a guaranteed Westpoint appointment I deferred to my position as encourager only. I still hold to my theory the government does not need to know your real talents. You were nicknamed computer brain in the 3rd grade when computers were just becoming known & you sailed through school snagging the LHS class Valedictorian title as you journeyed on to GA Tech. From the time I gave you to God I was aware that God was allowing our relationship to be supernaturally close because one day your journey would take you far from me leaving only those memories to fill the void. We both experienced wedding plans that cancelled & thus we were drawn to spend 10 months sharing our lives for the final time in my birth city Atlanta. God warned that the final separation was nearing so I moved first to leave you the freedom to follow your heart. Three months later that heart call came from Houston & my former horse trainer partner moved to Texas where I was sure you would find me a real cowboy mate. Of course your life does not involve horses or cowboys now so that was a dead end. Instead I had to trust God while you flew around the world visiting oil fields to help improve their oil flow. Now your travels are only within the US including weekly trips to your other office in Austin which allows the drive time chats I love. You have a wonderful wife who works in a high rise that looks surprisingly like a castle tower & your twin girls point to it on the skyline as “Mommies castle” as they commute to & from day care. It has been hard to be so far removed from your mundane world & all the treasures it holds. But in the spirit world, there in the heart that eternal flame bids us come & sit true as the day it was first lit. We are always close heart to heart.
Today is December 9, 2016
Much has happened in the last four years, but you are still my hero. You may wonder why I insist on republishing your baby picture. Perhaps this anonymous quote speaks to that tendency:
“To a mother, a son is never a fully grown man; and a son is never a fully grown man until he understands and accepts this about his mother.”
In the 46 years since you were born I have yet to dream about you as an adult, but I dream often about you as a child. They say our dreams are the embodiment of our subconscious realities so I guess even though I consciously respect your independence and your accomplishments as an adult, in my heart the child man yet lives. Perhaps that is as it should be. The world demands independence and maturity, but the Bible, while equally championing maturity, also reminds us that our sanity and our personal “North Star” is dependent on our ability to remember and periodically access that child self that lies so close to when he first created us. Perhaps, he purposely deposits and nourishes that image within the heart of the mothers so we can always find it there even when they are only memories.
Today, you are once again traveling with your career, including out of country so your other time is dedicated to your own family as it should be. I still cherish our drive time talks and any other time I get to hear your voice. And the rest of the time I cherish my knowledge of how you cherish your beautiful wife and your twin daughters. As you love them so fiercely you are also recirculating all the love that we share so I am blessed. The beautiful high rise palace queen has now relegated those duties to perform the greater role of Queen Wife and Mommy reigning over twin princesses and home castle sanctuaries. Again, I am blessed that those princesses get to know the love of a mother not stressed with work place demands since motherhood is in itself very time consuming and demanding. I am thankful that I was able to spend many years enjoying full time mothering. So what if I’m now a single income jack of many trades, but master (on paper) of none. Look at all the magic I created and added to the world through you and your sister.
Happy 46th birthday, my son, my hero, my legacy.